When I received my diagnosis of DOR, my doctor handed me a pamphlet about an organization called RESOLVE. It is a national infertility orginaztion providing support and resources to those of us struggling with infertility. It was quite a blow when she handed me the information. I couldn't believe that I was actually diagnosed with infertility let alone that she thought I needed support. It took some time, but eventually I perused the website, reading some articles and finding many useful resources. Today I found an article I wanted to share.
I found that most of the points were really great, and that a few didn't really apply to me and what I am feeling. I realize that when people ask questions or offer advice, they are doing so out of support and curiosity. The intent of this post is to let others know some of the feelings we may have when these questions or advice are offered. I hope that the article will help some to understand some of our struggles and feelings. I also hope it doesn't deter anyone from offering advice or asking questions.
I have felt pretty accepting of my diagnosis lately. And after reading the article, I realize that I am indeed going through the grieving process. I am finally at the point where I have accepted the diagnosis and we are ready to tackle it with whatever we can emotionally and financially endure.
There was a point where I was incredibly angry, and unfortunately that fell right over the holidays. Thanksgiving and Christmas were extremely difficult for me, and for Scott as well. But I think we are in a better place now. I can talk with others about what is going on and share our diagnosis and treatment plans. I can answer questions without tearing up or becoming angry. And I hopeful that very soon I will be able to share good news and joy with our family and friends.
The article really affected me because I was able to see that much of what I am feeling is normal! Finally, I am normal. The blog has helped me to express what we are going through and for me to work through my feelings. I am glad that I finally decided to share it with friends and family, and I hope it helps you to learn as much as you are comfortable with about our diagnosis and treatment.
I will continue to keep the updates as "PG-Rated" as possible, and spare the public from the more personal details.
Lilypie Maternity tickers
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Trigger Happy
I was scheduled for my first ultrasound for Wednesday, February 17th to measure my follicle development with the Femara this cycle. Over the weekend I started to see and feel some pretty prominent fertile signs. On Monday morning I called the RE's office to see if we could change my appointment to either that afternoon or Tuesday morning. We decided to schedule it for Tuesday.
I went in this morning and completely forgot I would have to have bloodwork too to check my FSH and E2. The nurse did the blood draw and then the ultrasound tech did the ultrasound. It was pretty quick. The nurse called back this afternoon to say that it was a good thing I changed my appointment because it is time to trigger! I had two mature follicles (eggs) in my left ovary, one at 24mm and one at 21mm. My LH was 10.2 and my Estradoil was 323, which the nurse said was great! I took the Ovidrel shot this evening when I got home from work. I was pretty nervous because I was afraid it would hurt. I did it all by myself and it was completely painless! Now the waiting begins!
I also went home this weekend for the baptisms of my two nieces. It was a very nice service. I talked to my mom a little bit, and she told me that she saw on the news that there was a recent study showing that as early as age 30, many women have only 10-14% of their ovarian reserve remaining. She said the report noted that for these women, it just takes longer to achieve a pregnancy than it does for women in their 20's. I am hoping she is right! And it was nice to know that she is thinking of Scott and me through all of this.
I went in this morning and completely forgot I would have to have bloodwork too to check my FSH and E2. The nurse did the blood draw and then the ultrasound tech did the ultrasound. It was pretty quick. The nurse called back this afternoon to say that it was a good thing I changed my appointment because it is time to trigger! I had two mature follicles (eggs) in my left ovary, one at 24mm and one at 21mm. My LH was 10.2 and my Estradoil was 323, which the nurse said was great! I took the Ovidrel shot this evening when I got home from work. I was pretty nervous because I was afraid it would hurt. I did it all by myself and it was completely painless! Now the waiting begins!
I also went home this weekend for the baptisms of my two nieces. It was a very nice service. I talked to my mom a little bit, and she told me that she saw on the news that there was a recent study showing that as early as age 30, many women have only 10-14% of their ovarian reserve remaining. She said the report noted that for these women, it just takes longer to achieve a pregnancy than it does for women in their 20's. I am hoping she is right! And it was nice to know that she is thinking of Scott and me through all of this.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
AFC Results
I had my ultrasound today to get my antral follicle count. It is an ultrasound where they look at your ovaries early in your cycle, usually around day 3 or 4, to measure how many follicles you have developing. Most of the information I have correlates the AFC to IFV(In-Vitro Fertilization) success rates, and since I am not doing IVF, it is a little difficult to determine what it all means for me. But, from what I can tell, a good AFC count is somewhere between 15-30. If you have DOR (diminished ovarian reserve) like I do, then your count is lower. A count over 30 typically indicated PCOS (Polycystic-Ovarian Syndrome). My count this morning was nine plus one cyst.
I'll take nine! It's not fabulous, but it could be much worse. So, I have nine little follicles ready to mature into one (or two) great eggs to be fertilized!
I am not sure about the cyst. From what I've read, a cyst is fairly common when taking clomid or other ovary stimulating meds. I thought the nurse from my RE's office might call this afternoon to go over the results, but she didn't. So I will call in the morning to see what they say about the cyst.
Now, I just continue with the Femara for the next three days, and I go back for another ultrasound on February 17th to measure follicle/egg growth. If the egg(s) is (are) about ready, then I will take Ovidrel (a trigger shot) to trigger ovulation so that we can better time baby-makin'!
I'll take nine! It's not fabulous, but it could be much worse. So, I have nine little follicles ready to mature into one (or two) great eggs to be fertilized!
I am not sure about the cyst. From what I've read, a cyst is fairly common when taking clomid or other ovary stimulating meds. I thought the nurse from my RE's office might call this afternoon to go over the results, but she didn't. So I will call in the morning to see what they say about the cyst.
Now, I just continue with the Femara for the next three days, and I go back for another ultrasound on February 17th to measure follicle/egg growth. If the egg(s) is (are) about ready, then I will take Ovidrel (a trigger shot) to trigger ovulation so that we can better time baby-makin'!
Monday, February 8, 2010
The Last Piece of the Puzzle
Tomorrow I go back to the RE for my antral follicle count. It is the last bit of testing to really know what my diagnosis of DOR means for me.
My RE will take my FSH* (11) my AMH* (0.8) and my AFC* (let's hope for 10! That's a big number, but I am hoping for the best case scenario.) Those numbers together should indicate how I will respond to the Femara and determine if we should move on to injectables like Bravelle.
This cycle I am taking Femara on cycle days 3-7, then go in on CD12 for an ultrasound to check how my egg(s) are developing. When they are nice and mature, I will then take a trigger shot, Ovidrel, to trigger ovulation.
Femara is actually not a fertility drug. It is a drug used in the treatment of breast cancer in menopausal women. I don't know much about the research that lead to the more widespread usage of Famara in treating fertility, but from what I understand, it helps to increase and/or improve egg maturation and egg quality when taken on cycle days 3-7.
Since my diagnosis I have been taking wheatgrass every morning and red raspberry leaf tea each day from the start of my cycle until ovulation.
I will post tomorrow with my results!
*most of the information I have been able to find regarding the DOR diagnosis is based on IVF cycles.
My RE will take my FSH* (11) my AMH* (0.8) and my AFC* (let's hope for 10! That's a big number, but I am hoping for the best case scenario.) Those numbers together should indicate how I will respond to the Femara and determine if we should move on to injectables like Bravelle.
This cycle I am taking Femara on cycle days 3-7, then go in on CD12 for an ultrasound to check how my egg(s) are developing. When they are nice and mature, I will then take a trigger shot, Ovidrel, to trigger ovulation.
Femara is actually not a fertility drug. It is a drug used in the treatment of breast cancer in menopausal women. I don't know much about the research that lead to the more widespread usage of Famara in treating fertility, but from what I understand, it helps to increase and/or improve egg maturation and egg quality when taken on cycle days 3-7.
Since my diagnosis I have been taking wheatgrass every morning and red raspberry leaf tea each day from the start of my cycle until ovulation.
I will post tomorrow with my results!
*most of the information I have been able to find regarding the DOR diagnosis is based on IVF cycles.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Determined
I have decided that I am determined to learn as much as I can about my diagnosis. I am going to do everything I can to ensure that we are getting the best possible protocols. During some of my research I found two books which I really wanted to read. I went to Border's on my lunch hour and picked up Inconceivable and The Infertility Cure.
Inconceivable is the story of a woman who at 42 decides with her husband to try for baby #2. After months of struggling, she sees a Reproductive Endocrinologist only to discover her FSH level is also 42. Instead of going the route of fertility treatments, she decides to pursue Chinese Medicine, organic foods, yoga, and she actually conceives!
The Infertility Cure is a book about using Chinese Medicine to treat infertility. It discusses accupuncture and Chinese Herbs.
During our journey to conceive, I have also discovered the online community BabyCenter. I have become addicted to this site. It has been a wonderful source of support for me, and I usually have my laptop opened each night and I am logged on to my little community. After the first of the year, I declared to my husband that I was taking a break from what he so lovingly refers to "Am I Pregnant Yet dot com". I think it's cute, the little names he used for my obsession. But I realized it had become a bit of an obsession and thought that maybe I needed a little break.
I couldn't totally remove myself from researching and learning more about my condition and treatment plans, so I dove into my new books. I had the books for about two or three days when Scott made a comment. He said "I thought you were going to take a break from that stuff."
I didn't see the books as being in the same category as BabyCenter. Think of BabyCenter as the FaceBook for those trying to conceive. I thought I would expand my mind and horizons to something more intelligent. With tears welling in my eyes, I explained this to Scott. I told him that with my diagnosis of Diminished Ovarian Reserve, I wanted to learn as much as I could. That one of the books was an amazing and miraculous success story of a woman with severe DOR who conceived without fertility medications, and the other book would help me to learn some of the things I could do to improve our chances.
After I explained this to my husband, he understood completely. He said that if it was him with the infertility diagnosis, he would most likely be doing the same thing.
Inconceivable is the story of a woman who at 42 decides with her husband to try for baby #2. After months of struggling, she sees a Reproductive Endocrinologist only to discover her FSH level is also 42. Instead of going the route of fertility treatments, she decides to pursue Chinese Medicine, organic foods, yoga, and she actually conceives!
The Infertility Cure is a book about using Chinese Medicine to treat infertility. It discusses accupuncture and Chinese Herbs.
During our journey to conceive, I have also discovered the online community BabyCenter. I have become addicted to this site. It has been a wonderful source of support for me, and I usually have my laptop opened each night and I am logged on to my little community. After the first of the year, I declared to my husband that I was taking a break from what he so lovingly refers to "Am I Pregnant Yet dot com". I think it's cute, the little names he used for my obsession. But I realized it had become a bit of an obsession and thought that maybe I needed a little break.
I couldn't totally remove myself from researching and learning more about my condition and treatment plans, so I dove into my new books. I had the books for about two or three days when Scott made a comment. He said "I thought you were going to take a break from that stuff."
I didn't see the books as being in the same category as BabyCenter. Think of BabyCenter as the FaceBook for those trying to conceive. I thought I would expand my mind and horizons to something more intelligent. With tears welling in my eyes, I explained this to Scott. I told him that with my diagnosis of Diminished Ovarian Reserve, I wanted to learn as much as I could. That one of the books was an amazing and miraculous success story of a woman with severe DOR who conceived without fertility medications, and the other book would help me to learn some of the things I could do to improve our chances.
After I explained this to my husband, he understood completely. He said that if it was him with the infertility diagnosis, he would most likely be doing the same thing.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Wheat Grass
Apparently, if you take some wheat grass and juice it, it's the new cure-all for anything that ails you! Including shitty eggs. So, I am giving it a try. I won't actually be juicing my own grass (um, does that sound dirty to anyone else?!) I've found a great and delicious way to get my daily wheatgrass treatment. It is in the form of a delicious green juice found at Trader Joe's. The only problem is that it's not enough, and the nearest juice bar that has freshly-juiced wheatgrass is in Royal Oak. I can't be driving there every day. So I found some wheatgrass powder which claims you can mix it with your favorite juice, or even mix it in a smoothie. Okay. Not so much, unless you like mixing fresh cut and pulverized grass clippings with your yogurt and berries.
I have found that if I mix it with some orange juice, shake it really well, hold my nose and chug, it's not really all that bad.
Here is some more information on the benefits of wheatgrass.
AMH
I called the RE to ask about my elevated FSH levels and to see if we should proceed with additional testing. Once I realized that my FHS was elevated, I started to do some research. It seems that the elevated FSH indicates that my body has to work a little harder each cycle to produce and mature my eggs. To summarize how FSH works, it is created in the pituitary gland and signals the ovaries to mature an egg. When the ovaries aren't maturing the egg well enough, the brain realizes this and tells the pituitary gland to produce more FSH. So, the higher your FSH level, the harder your body is working for your egg. More information
After talking with the nurse, she called me back to schedule the test. It is a simple blood draw and was done at the beginning of my cycle. I arrived at the office, and the nurse started with her first attempt to draw my blood. During college I always donated blood for the Red Cross. When a nurse first preps me to draw my blood, she usually comments on my small veins. I've never had a problem before. When my nurse, Chris, prepped me she made the comment like many others before her have made, "My, what small veins you have." I shrugged it off and said, "that's what everyone says, but once they get in there, it's fine." Well, she stuck me twice, shifted the needle trying to find my vein, and nothing came. The office has a two-poke rule. The nurse can poke you twice, and if she can't find your vein, she has to get another nurse. So, in comes another nurse who also pokes me twice and wiggles and moves the needle around and still can't find a vein. I now have two pokes in each arm, and no blood. Finally she says she is going to try my hand. She pokes my hand and thank God!, she hits the vein.
We are chatting as the vial slowly fills, she tells me that she will be sending my blood to California to be tested. Apparently there aren't many labs that perform this test. And, I have to wait THREE WEEKS for the results. Three weeks means that I won't get my result until after Christmas. So, I have to wait through the holidays to find out what is going on. I was a little miffed, but there really wasn't much I could do about it.
Scott and I were pretty nervous over Christmas. But we did our best to try to enjoy ourselves during our trip. When we got back, I called the office on Tuesday, January 6th to see if my results were in. They were in and my AMH is 0.8. This is not good. Normal results should be between 1-3, but close to 2.0. A low AMH level seems to confirm my fears which is that I may have diminished ovarian reserve.
After talking with the nurse, she called me back to schedule the test. It is a simple blood draw and was done at the beginning of my cycle. I arrived at the office, and the nurse started with her first attempt to draw my blood. During college I always donated blood for the Red Cross. When a nurse first preps me to draw my blood, she usually comments on my small veins. I've never had a problem before. When my nurse, Chris, prepped me she made the comment like many others before her have made, "My, what small veins you have." I shrugged it off and said, "that's what everyone says, but once they get in there, it's fine." Well, she stuck me twice, shifted the needle trying to find my vein, and nothing came. The office has a two-poke rule. The nurse can poke you twice, and if she can't find your vein, she has to get another nurse. So, in comes another nurse who also pokes me twice and wiggles and moves the needle around and still can't find a vein. I now have two pokes in each arm, and no blood. Finally she says she is going to try my hand. She pokes my hand and thank God!, she hits the vein.
We are chatting as the vial slowly fills, she tells me that she will be sending my blood to California to be tested. Apparently there aren't many labs that perform this test. And, I have to wait THREE WEEKS for the results. Three weeks means that I won't get my result until after Christmas. So, I have to wait through the holidays to find out what is going on. I was a little miffed, but there really wasn't much I could do about it.
Scott and I were pretty nervous over Christmas. But we did our best to try to enjoy ourselves during our trip. When we got back, I called the office on Tuesday, January 6th to see if my results were in. They were in and my AMH is 0.8. This is not good. Normal results should be between 1-3, but close to 2.0. A low AMH level seems to confirm my fears which is that I may have diminished ovarian reserve.
Aunt Flow Comes Again
About two weeks after the HSG test, and just on schedule, I started my period. I thought, "What the Hell?" Okay, so that is the censored version. It was a little more like "$*%^#&%@&!!!!!" I called the RE and said, "What's next?"
She said we could start clomid. I was so excited. Until I got hot flashes, night sweats, extreme irritibility, cramping, bloating, and oh, did I mention extreme irratibility?! I could have comitted murder while on this drug. I took it for two cycles.
Somewhere in there, I received my actual test results in the mail. I was reading them and everything looked good. Then I got to my FSH level. It said 11.o Normal range <10. Wait, that's not normal. Oh well, the RE would have said something, right? She or the nurse would have called to tell me that one of my hormone levels was a little high, calm my fears, and tell me not to worry. But the doctor never called. So I wondered about it and decided that at my next appointment I would ask about it.
My next appointment was just around the corner, about three weeks away. After I started the clomid, the RE likes you to come in for what they so calmly call a clomid check. It's a quick little exam to make sure that the clomid isn't overstimulating your ovaries. The exam went well, but the nurse practitioner the said "Oh, I see your FSH is slightly elevated." I was so glad she said something because I thought I was crazy thinking that it was off. But at that point I didn't do anything about it. Yeah, it is a little elevated but I just kept thinking that if the RE thought it indicated some type of an issue or problem, she would contact me.
She said we could start clomid. I was so excited. Until I got hot flashes, night sweats, extreme irritibility, cramping, bloating, and oh, did I mention extreme irratibility?! I could have comitted murder while on this drug. I took it for two cycles.
Somewhere in there, I received my actual test results in the mail. I was reading them and everything looked good. Then I got to my FSH level. It said 11.o Normal range <10. Wait, that's not normal. Oh well, the RE would have said something, right? She or the nurse would have called to tell me that one of my hormone levels was a little high, calm my fears, and tell me not to worry. But the doctor never called. So I wondered about it and decided that at my next appointment I would ask about it.
My next appointment was just around the corner, about three weeks away. After I started the clomid, the RE likes you to come in for what they so calmly call a clomid check. It's a quick little exam to make sure that the clomid isn't overstimulating your ovaries. The exam went well, but the nurse practitioner the said "Oh, I see your FSH is slightly elevated." I was so glad she said something because I thought I was crazy thinking that it was off. But at that point I didn't do anything about it. Yeah, it is a little elevated but I just kept thinking that if the RE thought it indicated some type of an issue or problem, she would contact me.
HSG
The morning of my HSG test I was a little nervous. I heard that some women experienced some mild discomfort while others felt quite a lot of pain. It hurt more than I thought it would, and I was so relieved when it was over. I got to watch the entire procedure on a screen. I could see the shape of my uterus and my fallopian tubes. It was pretty cool. The nurse practitioner told me everything was clear.
I was also excited because there is supporting evidence that there is an increased pregnancy rate in the three months following the HSG test.
I was also excited because there is supporting evidence that there is an increased pregnancy rate in the three months following the HSG test.
Taking the Leap
Okay, so now it has been over a year that we've been trying to start our family. After months or praying and waiting, and waiting some more, we decided to call for reinforcements. Scott and I decided to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist, or in layman's terms, a fertility specialist. I did some research and we decided on to go to HFCRH. I called and made an appointment. We were scheduled four our fist consultation on October 23, 2009. We would be meeting with Dr. X. The clinic told us that we should schedule a semen analysis prior to the visit. Since we had the prescription in hand, I was hoping that this would be the kick Scott needed to go and get it done! Well, he decided to wait and finally scheduled it for the morning of our first appointment.
We met with the doctor and cried tears of joy when she told us that Scott has super swimmers! Male factor infertility issues can be very difficult to treat, so we were so happy that this was not an issue for us. Our RE reviewed my charts, thank goodness for fertilitfriend.com. I had an entire year's worth of charts to proudly show our doctor! Beautiful charts, with clear thermal shifts showing I ovulate like a champ every cycle!
The RE reviewed my charts and confirmed that they looked good. She scheduled some baseline blood work tests to measure my hormone levels. Just a formality, right. I mean, now that we know we don't have any male factor issues, and everyone in my family gets pregnant just thinking about it, this good news could be the stress reliever we needed to kick things into gear.
I had blood drawn, and they tested my Estradoil, Thyroid, FSH and a few others I can't remember. The next day the nurse called me to tell me that my results were good and my hormone levels were within the normal range. We then scheduled and HSG for October 30th.
We met with the doctor and cried tears of joy when she told us that Scott has super swimmers! Male factor infertility issues can be very difficult to treat, so we were so happy that this was not an issue for us. Our RE reviewed my charts, thank goodness for fertilitfriend.com. I had an entire year's worth of charts to proudly show our doctor! Beautiful charts, with clear thermal shifts showing I ovulate like a champ every cycle!
The RE reviewed my charts and confirmed that they looked good. She scheduled some baseline blood work tests to measure my hormone levels. Just a formality, right. I mean, now that we know we don't have any male factor issues, and everyone in my family gets pregnant just thinking about it, this good news could be the stress reliever we needed to kick things into gear.
I had blood drawn, and they tested my Estradoil, Thyroid, FSH and a few others I can't remember. The next day the nurse called me to tell me that my results were good and my hormone levels were within the normal range. We then scheduled and HSG for October 30th.
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