Well, it's that time again. Time for me to take the trigger shot and get ready for our IUI. I went to the clinic this morning for monitoring: blood work and an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed two good follicles in my right ovary. One is 27mm and the other is 24mm. My lining was great at 9.1 and my E2 is 329! I will take the trigger shot tonight between 9:00 and 10:00. Scott and I will then go back to the clinic Wednesday morning for the IUI.
I am a little nervous about the trigger shot because I am pretty certain I will have to give it to myself. My mother-in-law is out of town, and she gave the the shot last cycle. (Remember the story?) Since she is traveling, I could have my sister-in-law do it, but I really don't think I want to make the trip, it's about an hour round-trip from our house to hers and back. So I will muster up the courage to do it myself.
Lilypie Maternity tickers
Monday, May 16, 2011
Friday, May 13, 2011
Creighton NaPro, Why am I just now hearing about this?!
My mother-in-law is becoming notorious for stumbling upon things which lead to amazing discoveries. First she found an ad in the local paper looking for subjects for a trial for infertility. This lead to Scott and I applying and then being accepted to the study in which we are currently participating.
Then last week she sent me an email she found in her SPAM box. It was about Catholic Infertility Treatment, which I thought was an oxymoron. I mean, most all ART is frowned upon by the Catholic Church and I have my own reservations and limits when it comes to treatments.
Well, I read the email from D and was incredibly interested. Did you know that there is a Catholic Infertility Treatment Center in Omaha Nebraska? It's called the Pope Paul VI Institute of Human Reproduction. And there are doctors all over the U.S. (although none in Michigan). There are Creighton Model Practitioners in the area and I've signed up for an introductory session in June. Based on what I have read so far the Creighton Model is an Natural Family Planning method that is also used to treat women's reproductive health and pinpoint fertility issues which allows the doctors to actually treat the issue. With traditional ART the doctors typically stimulate ovulation in the hopes of creating multiple eggs each cycle therefore increasing the chances that one of them will fertilize. Creighton doctors are trained in NaPro technology and look at a biomarkers during a woman's cycle, typically fertile and non-fertile fluid, in conjunction with monitoring hormones throughout her cycle in order to identify and treat various issues. The Creighton Model can treat various reproductive issues including infertility, postpartum depression, luteal phase (progesterone) defects, and other issues. Creighton Model doctors are also exceptionally trained in treating endometriosis, which as it turns out is something I will need.
My ultrasounds at our current RE have been showing a steady "cyst" in my left ovary each month. Each month it is the same size, which is not typical. Cysts usually shrink over a month or two. At our first ultrasound Dr. S said that he thought it could be endometriosis on my left ovary and that he would keep an eye on it. After it showed up again on Monday's ultrasound, I called and scheduled an appointment for a consultation. I had the appointment this afternoon and Dr. S is pretty certain it is indeed the dreaded endo. It has remained less than 20mm in size, but is in every single ultrasound we have done over the past three months. Endometriosis can be the fertility kiss-of-death if not treated. He wants me to schedule a laparocsopic surgery to remove the endo on my ovary and look for any other endo that may be present. He wants to wait until we have completed the study before he performs the surgery. However, if we do not get pregnant while in the study I am pretty sure we will move on to a Creighton/NaPro doctor for further treatments.
This is a rather devastating diagnosis, but I have faith that D sent me the email for a reason. We are just taking this one day at a time.
Then last week she sent me an email she found in her SPAM box. It was about Catholic Infertility Treatment, which I thought was an oxymoron. I mean, most all ART is frowned upon by the Catholic Church and I have my own reservations and limits when it comes to treatments.
Well, I read the email from D and was incredibly interested. Did you know that there is a Catholic Infertility Treatment Center in Omaha Nebraska? It's called the Pope Paul VI Institute of Human Reproduction. And there are doctors all over the U.S. (although none in Michigan). There are Creighton Model Practitioners in the area and I've signed up for an introductory session in June. Based on what I have read so far the Creighton Model is an Natural Family Planning method that is also used to treat women's reproductive health and pinpoint fertility issues which allows the doctors to actually treat the issue. With traditional ART the doctors typically stimulate ovulation in the hopes of creating multiple eggs each cycle therefore increasing the chances that one of them will fertilize. Creighton doctors are trained in NaPro technology and look at a biomarkers during a woman's cycle, typically fertile and non-fertile fluid, in conjunction with monitoring hormones throughout her cycle in order to identify and treat various issues. The Creighton Model can treat various reproductive issues including infertility, postpartum depression, luteal phase (progesterone) defects, and other issues. Creighton Model doctors are also exceptionally trained in treating endometriosis, which as it turns out is something I will need.
My ultrasounds at our current RE have been showing a steady "cyst" in my left ovary each month. Each month it is the same size, which is not typical. Cysts usually shrink over a month or two. At our first ultrasound Dr. S said that he thought it could be endometriosis on my left ovary and that he would keep an eye on it. After it showed up again on Monday's ultrasound, I called and scheduled an appointment for a consultation. I had the appointment this afternoon and Dr. S is pretty certain it is indeed the dreaded endo. It has remained less than 20mm in size, but is in every single ultrasound we have done over the past three months. Endometriosis can be the fertility kiss-of-death if not treated. He wants me to schedule a laparocsopic surgery to remove the endo on my ovary and look for any other endo that may be present. He wants to wait until we have completed the study before he performs the surgery. However, if we do not get pregnant while in the study I am pretty sure we will move on to a Creighton/NaPro doctor for further treatments.
This is a rather devastating diagnosis, but I have faith that D sent me the email for a reason. We are just taking this one day at a time.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Update - Rest Cycle Completed
I woke up very early Saturday morning with horrible cramps; Aunt Flo made her arrival which means that my rest cycle is over and we are moving on to our second cycle with IUI!
I am starting this cycle feeling a little different than usual, almost a little indifferent. Don't get me wrong, I want this cycle to be successful. I want, more than anything, to be pregnant. But I am approaching this cycle knowing that we have done all we can and that this is really in God's hands.
I drove to the clinic this morning for my baseline blood work and ultrasound. Things looked really good and I had 11 antral follicles. I received my medication and will start taking it today. I'll go back to the clinic early next week for another ultrasound and blood work to check my follicle developmente and we will most likely do the IUI sometime next week.
I am starting this cycle feeling a little different than usual, almost a little indifferent. Don't get me wrong, I want this cycle to be successful. I want, more than anything, to be pregnant. But I am approaching this cycle knowing that we have done all we can and that this is really in God's hands.
I drove to the clinic this morning for my baseline blood work and ultrasound. Things looked really good and I had 11 antral follicles. I received my medication and will start taking it today. I'll go back to the clinic early next week for another ultrasound and blood work to check my follicle developmente and we will most likely do the IUI sometime next week.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Taking a Break, Having a Breakdown
Well, here I am about two weeks into our 'rest cycle' (thanks to some residual follicles/cysts)and I thought I was coping quite well. Until yesterday afternoon. I was having a nice phone conversation with my mother when out of nowhere I started crying. She asked what we were doing on our Easter Sunday and I fully admitted that we had avoided going to Mass because I couldn't face sitting for an hour and a half surrounded by happy, joyous families dressed in their Easter finest: little girls in dresses, bows and hats; little boys in their cute dress pants, vests and ties. I just couldn't do it. It is supposed to be the holiest and most joyous day of the year and I sat home feeling alone, sad, and devastated.
My breakdown didn't last long, but I poured my heart out to my mom, and she was fabulously supportive. But for the first time I really voiced my fears. What if this doesn't happen for us? We have three cycles left in this treatment plan. I don't want to focus on what happens if we don't get pregnant yet part of me feels that I need to prepare for both of the outcomes. These next three cycles change everything for us. We've pretty much realized that we can't afford further treatments. There really isn't any room in our budget to save for IVF or the difficult decision of using donor eggs. We might be able to scrounge up enough to adopt, but I don't know that adoption is really an option for us.
I know that there are many other women out there struggling with this same situation. Wondering where we will be left if this doesn't work. I realize that my thoughts and fears aren't unique to my situation, that unfortunately these questions have been asked my many. But what if this doesn't work? What if I never get pregnant? What if I have to face another holiday without a baby, a child to rear. Can we learn to live child free and be happy, fulfilled, satisfied? Will I always feel this empty? Will holding a beautiful niece, nephew, or child of a friend be enough for me? Will I always avoid holidays, events, parties?
The one thing that struck me the most was the fact that I realized, in the midst of this breakdown, that I don't even know how to talk to my friends any more. It seems like this is consuming me. When someone asks me "What's new?" the first thing that comes to my mind is to tell them where we are with our treatments, Scott's latest experience waiting his turn at the RE to produce his sample. Me driving like a mad-woman to my MIL's house so she can give me my trigger shot.
I know we won't always be here, in this situation. I only hope that in the next three months we will finally be pregnant. Because if we're not I am not sure how I will handle it.
My breakdown didn't last long, but I poured my heart out to my mom, and she was fabulously supportive. But for the first time I really voiced my fears. What if this doesn't happen for us? We have three cycles left in this treatment plan. I don't want to focus on what happens if we don't get pregnant yet part of me feels that I need to prepare for both of the outcomes. These next three cycles change everything for us. We've pretty much realized that we can't afford further treatments. There really isn't any room in our budget to save for IVF or the difficult decision of using donor eggs. We might be able to scrounge up enough to adopt, but I don't know that adoption is really an option for us.
I know that there are many other women out there struggling with this same situation. Wondering where we will be left if this doesn't work. I realize that my thoughts and fears aren't unique to my situation, that unfortunately these questions have been asked my many. But what if this doesn't work? What if I never get pregnant? What if I have to face another holiday without a baby, a child to rear. Can we learn to live child free and be happy, fulfilled, satisfied? Will I always feel this empty? Will holding a beautiful niece, nephew, or child of a friend be enough for me? Will I always avoid holidays, events, parties?
The one thing that struck me the most was the fact that I realized, in the midst of this breakdown, that I don't even know how to talk to my friends any more. It seems like this is consuming me. When someone asks me "What's new?" the first thing that comes to my mind is to tell them where we are with our treatments, Scott's latest experience waiting his turn at the RE to produce his sample. Me driving like a mad-woman to my MIL's house so she can give me my trigger shot.
I know we won't always be here, in this situation. I only hope that in the next three months we will finally be pregnant. Because if we're not I am not sure how I will handle it.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Holding Pattern
I went to the clinic this morning for my blood work and an ultrasound to check everything before we start IUI Cycle #2. Each cycle starts this way, a check of my Estradoil (E2) levels and a good look at my giblets (ovaries and uterus). It's a rather strange little thing to go through. I step into a small dressing room, disrobe from the waist down, wrap a paper blanket around myself and shuffle into the ultrasound room. There is always a sonographer and a study coordinator in the room. I do have to say that I absolutely love the study coordinators. There are three women about my age and they are wonderful; so caring and understanding, willing to answer any questions I have. Two of the girls are runners too, so we've been talking about races this summer and our training schedules. It's nice to connect.
Okay, back to the giblet check. The sonographer performs the ultrasound. During a regular ART cycle, there is usually just the sonographer who will then give the ultrasound results to the RE to interpret. But since I am taking part in a study a coordinator is always present to record all of my results.
The sonographer studies the ultrasound pictures on the screen and calls out the measurements and findings to the coordinator who then records them for the study. As I was lying on the table this morning the sonographer started her measurements, checking my antral follicle count, measuring my lining, ovary size and corpus luteum cysts (the follicle casings remaining from any eggs that were released during my previous cycle.) She counted five antrals on my right side, and two corpus luteum cysts. Then she measured the cysts. One was something, I can't remember the size, and the second on was 47mm.
Oh. Shit.
I knew it right then. In order to avoid overstimulation most RE's worth their salt won't start another medicated cycle if there are any cysts over 30mm. For those of you who don't remember metric conversions from elementary school, I have a nice little almost two inch cyst in my right ovary.
She went on to measure my left, 8 antrals and one corpus luteum cyst plus two more. This corpus luteum one was 49mm! What!?! I have another almost two inch cyst in my left ovary!
A cyst aren't necessarily a bad thing; they actually means I ovulated. And the presence of three cysts means that I released three eggs this past cycle. This is a good thing, meaning that I responded well to the medications and produced some good little eggies.
The presence of the large cysts isn't so uncommon on a medicated cycle. But it does mean that we have to sit this next cycle out and hope that my body recovers and that the cysts reduce in size (which they should). Taking the cycle off should allow time for recovery, and thankfully I don't lose one of my four treatment cycles--the cycle off doesn't count against us.
Scott and I were both disappointed. Really disappointed because the first IUI didn't work and then that we have to wait a month until we can start our second round. I guess I'll just take this next month as time to get healthier, eat well, and get back on my running schedule.
Okay, back to the giblet check. The sonographer performs the ultrasound. During a regular ART cycle, there is usually just the sonographer who will then give the ultrasound results to the RE to interpret. But since I am taking part in a study a coordinator is always present to record all of my results.
The sonographer studies the ultrasound pictures on the screen and calls out the measurements and findings to the coordinator who then records them for the study. As I was lying on the table this morning the sonographer started her measurements, checking my antral follicle count, measuring my lining, ovary size and corpus luteum cysts (the follicle casings remaining from any eggs that were released during my previous cycle.) She counted five antrals on my right side, and two corpus luteum cysts. Then she measured the cysts. One was something, I can't remember the size, and the second on was 47mm.
Oh. Shit.
I knew it right then. In order to avoid overstimulation most RE's worth their salt won't start another medicated cycle if there are any cysts over 30mm. For those of you who don't remember metric conversions from elementary school, I have a nice little almost two inch cyst in my right ovary.
She went on to measure my left, 8 antrals and one corpus luteum cyst plus two more. This corpus luteum one was 49mm! What!?! I have another almost two inch cyst in my left ovary!
A cyst aren't necessarily a bad thing; they actually means I ovulated. And the presence of three cysts means that I released three eggs this past cycle. This is a good thing, meaning that I responded well to the medications and produced some good little eggies.
The presence of the large cysts isn't so uncommon on a medicated cycle. But it does mean that we have to sit this next cycle out and hope that my body recovers and that the cysts reduce in size (which they should). Taking the cycle off should allow time for recovery, and thankfully I don't lose one of my four treatment cycles--the cycle off doesn't count against us.
Scott and I were both disappointed. Really disappointed because the first IUI didn't work and then that we have to wait a month until we can start our second round. I guess I'll just take this next month as time to get healthier, eat well, and get back on my running schedule.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
FYAF
Well, this little acronym isn't a happy one. It's for F*** You Aunt Flow. She made her appearance this afternoon, on schedule, just as I've been predicting since around Thursday. So this first IUI was not successful. We are moving on to IUI Cycle #2. I'll go to the clinic tomorrow for my bloodwork and ultrasound to start the cycle, and they'll give me my medications which I will start on Tuesday. This means that IUI #2 will fall around or over Easter weekend.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Wishing and Waiting
Well, here I am, in my TWW, waiting to see if this first IUI was successful. It is still a little too early to be feeling any real symptoms, but of course I am still analyzing every twitch and potential sign.
I had my progesterone tested yesterday. During ART this is typically done around 7-9 days past ovulation to determine if you actually ovulated. A progesterone level over 10 indicates ovulation. Mine was 14. I am now 9 days past the IUI and have 6 days left until I go back to the clinic for a blood test to see if we are pregnant. Although I think I will have a pretty good idea before next Monday morning. According to my usual cycle pattern my period is due Saturday or Sunday. (Aren't you glad I share so much information!?!?) If it hasn't arrived by Monday morning then I think my chances of being pregnant are pretty good. But that's still almost a week away. I am trying to get through the next few days without stressing or obsessing too much. I think it helps to know that if this cycle doesn't work we still have three more chances.
**********************************
I talked to my mom and dad a little bit this weekend about the struggles of sharing information with friends and family. The up side to it is that I have so much support from so many wonderful people. The down side is that everyone is expecting updates. I've taken that safety net away; the one where most people wait a few weeks to share their good news and savor it for themselves. The same net that allows for you to digest the heartbreak of another failed cycle for a few days before moving. But since I've share the details with my friends and family, the exact time I took my trigger shot, the date and time of the IUI, the day my period is due, and the date of my pregnancy test at the clinic, I know people will be waiting to hear the results. I am afraid of having to share bad news if this doesn't work.
I told my parents that if they don't hear from my by Monday afternoon then I probably just need a few days to regroup. But if we do have good news on Monday you can be sure that I will be shouting it from the mountaintops. Okay, not the mountaintops, but you definitely will know!
**********************************
I do want to say that I appreciate everyone's prayers and support. The text messages, comments, emails and phone calls are wonderful. They really help to know that even though dealing with IF can seem so lonely that I have wonderful, loving family and friends out there supporting me and letting me know that Scott and I are in your thoughts.
Here's to hoping that this is the last month I am updating you about bloodwork, tests, IUIs and everything that goes with our treatments.
I had my progesterone tested yesterday. During ART this is typically done around 7-9 days past ovulation to determine if you actually ovulated. A progesterone level over 10 indicates ovulation. Mine was 14. I am now 9 days past the IUI and have 6 days left until I go back to the clinic for a blood test to see if we are pregnant. Although I think I will have a pretty good idea before next Monday morning. According to my usual cycle pattern my period is due Saturday or Sunday. (Aren't you glad I share so much information!?!?) If it hasn't arrived by Monday morning then I think my chances of being pregnant are pretty good. But that's still almost a week away. I am trying to get through the next few days without stressing or obsessing too much. I think it helps to know that if this cycle doesn't work we still have three more chances.
**********************************
I talked to my mom and dad a little bit this weekend about the struggles of sharing information with friends and family. The up side to it is that I have so much support from so many wonderful people. The down side is that everyone is expecting updates. I've taken that safety net away; the one where most people wait a few weeks to share their good news and savor it for themselves. The same net that allows for you to digest the heartbreak of another failed cycle for a few days before moving. But since I've share the details with my friends and family, the exact time I took my trigger shot, the date and time of the IUI, the day my period is due, and the date of my pregnancy test at the clinic, I know people will be waiting to hear the results. I am afraid of having to share bad news if this doesn't work.
I told my parents that if they don't hear from my by Monday afternoon then I probably just need a few days to regroup. But if we do have good news on Monday you can be sure that I will be shouting it from the mountaintops. Okay, not the mountaintops, but you definitely will know!
**********************************
I do want to say that I appreciate everyone's prayers and support. The text messages, comments, emails and phone calls are wonderful. They really help to know that even though dealing with IF can seem so lonely that I have wonderful, loving family and friends out there supporting me and letting me know that Scott and I are in your thoughts.
Here's to hoping that this is the last month I am updating you about bloodwork, tests, IUIs and everything that goes with our treatments.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
PUPO
In the online land of infertility, there are abbreviations for just about everything. I've introduced you to a few, and others may be new to you, but to me they are standard:
FSH- Follicle Stimulating Hormone
BFP- Big Fat Positive (on a pregnancy test)
BFN- Big Fat Negative (on a pregnancy test)
DH- Dear Husband
DOR- Diminished Ovarian Reserve
IF- Infertilty
AF- Aunt Flow
IUI- Intra-uterine insemination
IVF- In-vitro fertilization
ART- Advanced Reproductive Treatments/Technology
TWW- Two Week Wait - the waiting period from the time a woman ovulates until she can take a pregnancy test (or until AF arrives)
I could go on and on. But I won't because I want to get to the best one yet.
I thought that my nearly three years dealing with trying to get pregnant and surfing my 'fantasy baby league' (as DH calls BabyCenter ) that I had come across every abbreviation there is. Until today.
Today I discovered my most favorite abbreviation ever.
Today I discovered that I am PUPO. Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise.
Now don't get too excited because I am not pregnant yet. We just did the IUI a few hours ago and we won't know if this cycle was successful for a few weeks. But this newfound PUPO status allows me to really hope, to really believe that this time might be successful. It's and abbreviation reserved for the select few of us who have undergone ART, where science has stepped in and given us the chance at parenthood that Mother Nature herself couldn't provide.
The IUI went really well today. Scott's count was through the roof and even after the wash he still had a very high count. (He wants everyone to know that he has super swimmers.) Ater they did the wash the sample was a grade "A", which is really good. It means all the little guys were moving well and swimming straight. My ultrasound on Friday showed two very good size follicles. According to the technician and the RE I should release two eggs. With two eggs releasing we have a very good chance that at least one will fertilize. The procedure today was very quick and painless. The woman who performed the IUI was great and explained everything to us before she did it.
We left the office feeling very hopeful and now knowing --that at least in the world of IF-- for the next two weeks we are PUPO.
FSH- Follicle Stimulating Hormone
BFP- Big Fat Positive (on a pregnancy test)
BFN- Big Fat Negative (on a pregnancy test)
DH- Dear Husband
DOR- Diminished Ovarian Reserve
IF- Infertilty
AF- Aunt Flow
IUI- Intra-uterine insemination
IVF- In-vitro fertilization
ART- Advanced Reproductive Treatments/Technology
TWW- Two Week Wait - the waiting period from the time a woman ovulates until she can take a pregnancy test (or until AF arrives)
I could go on and on. But I won't because I want to get to the best one yet.
I thought that my nearly three years dealing with trying to get pregnant and surfing my 'fantasy baby league' (as DH calls BabyCenter ) that I had come across every abbreviation there is. Until today.
Today I discovered my most favorite abbreviation ever.
Today I discovered that I am PUPO. Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise.
Now don't get too excited because I am not pregnant yet. We just did the IUI a few hours ago and we won't know if this cycle was successful for a few weeks. But this newfound PUPO status allows me to really hope, to really believe that this time might be successful. It's and abbreviation reserved for the select few of us who have undergone ART, where science has stepped in and given us the chance at parenthood that Mother Nature herself couldn't provide.
The IUI went really well today. Scott's count was through the roof and even after the wash he still had a very high count. (He wants everyone to know that he has super swimmers.) Ater they did the wash the sample was a grade "A", which is really good. It means all the little guys were moving well and swimming straight. My ultrasound on Friday showed two very good size follicles. According to the technician and the RE I should release two eggs. With two eggs releasing we have a very good chance that at least one will fertilize. The procedure today was very quick and painless. The woman who performed the IUI was great and explained everything to us before she did it.
We left the office feeling very hopeful and now knowing --that at least in the world of IF-- for the next two weeks we are PUPO.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Ready to Trigger - Chicken!
A lot has happened since my last post. We were accepted to the study last Thursday and I started taking my meds on Friday. I went back to the clinic yesterday morning for monitoring. They took blood to test hormones and did an ultrasound to check my follicle growth. Everything looked good. I have two follicles ready to go, one in each ovary. They were 20mm and 21mm which is a really good size, and even better that they are so close in size. Usually if one is larger than the other, the smaller one will stop growing, and the larger one will take over and be the only egg to release. If both are very close in size as they develop and stay close in size until I trigger, then there is a very good chance that I will release both eggs. Twins? Maybe. But let's not get ahead of ourselves yet.
I was planning giving myself the trigger shot Friday night. When you get to this point in fertility treatments, everything is pretty precise. My bloodwork and ultrasound showed that I was almost ready to ovulate on my own, and the trigger shot needs to be taken at a point when the follicles are large enough to contain mature eggs to release, but before my body ovulates on my own. The nurse told me that I needed to trigger between 9:00 and 10:00 p.m. on Friday night. This is because the trigger shot makes you ovulate approximately 36-40 hours after you take it and the release of the eggs needs to be precisely coordinated with the timing of the IUI. We will go back to the clinic Sunday morning for the IUI, which will be 36 hours from the time I 'triggered' (took the shot).
Well, 9:00 rolled around last night and I was talking to my mom on the phone. I had to let her go so I could prepare and take the shot. This form of the trigger shot is different than the one I previously took. Before I took Ovidrel which comes already prepared in a syringe with a needle. I only had to swab my belly with some alcohol, pinch up a little bit of belly fat, stick myself and plunge the medication into my belly. This time around it's not so easy. This dose is an intramuscular shot and needs to be administered into my butt muscle. Yes, into the muscle. I was pretty sure I could do it myself and the nurse assured me that there are may women who do this. And Scott, I love him dearly, but he said "I can't even watch an episode of Gray's Anatomy without feeling sick, there's no way I can give you the shot."
So, at 9:15 I started to prepare the shot. One vial of water to reconstitute the freeze dried medication, one vial of the medication, one syringe, and three needles. (Just in case I need more than one try.) I mixed the medication, drew it up into the syringe, tapped out the air bubbles, swabbed my hip with alcohol, counted "one, two, three..." and hesitated. I was nervous that it would really hurt, that I wouldn't be able to pull up the syringe to check for blood, what if I had to pull the needle out and do it again? So, I started over, counted again "one, two, three..." pulled back to poke myself, and then hesitated. I did this about a hundred more times. It was now 9:30 and I realized I just couldn't do it myself. I was a total chicken-s#*t! Time to call in for reinforcements.
I called my mother-in-law and said "Diane, are you busy? If I drive down to your house can you give me a shot in my butt?" Thankfully I had already talked to her and asked her if she could give me the shot if I wasn't able to do it myself. She said "Of course!" I grabbed the syringe, the two extra needles and the box the meds came in, threw them in a ziplock baggie and headed out to Machi's house. As I'm driving down to her house I realize I don't have a prescription for the medication that is now sitting in a syringe, in a plastic baggie, in the front seat of my car. (Because this is a study, the coordinator just gives me the drugs when I am at my appointment. I don't fill a prescription at a pharmacy) I am in my pajamas and winter coat, tennis shoes untied, in my coke-bottle glasses, looking a little rough and very frazzled. I am contemplating a quick prayer "Please God, don't let me get pulled over!" as I try not to speed down to Machi's so she can give me the shot before 10:00. I was convinced I somewhat resembled a drug addict.
I made it to her house with ten minutes to spare. Munchie (Diane's beautiful but high-strung sheltie) is yipping at me and turning in excited circles at our feet as Diane tells me to lie across her couch with my booty in the air, pants pulled down over my right hip, as she taps the air out of the syringe and then gives me the shot. Munchie realized the situation was serious (LOL) and calmed down She even nuzzled up to me as I was lying on the couch. It was hilarious. I am sure others have endured stranger situations to get to their goal. I had to laugh. The whole thing was hilarious. But we managed to get it all done. I stayed at her house until midnight eating some delicious raspberry-chocolate ice cream talking about the follies of dealing with infertility. It ended up being a very nice evening.
So we wait until tomorrow (Sunday) morning when we go back to the clinic for the actual IUI. Then I go back about 9 days after the IUI for more bloodwork and yet another ultrasound. Two weeks from Sunday, if I haven't started my period, I will go back for a blood draw to check my beta levels to see if I am pregnant. If I am, I will shout it from the mountain tops, post it on Facebook, Twitter, and maybe even my email signature at work. Okay, probably not there, and definitely not before we first tell our parents. But we are so excited and hopeful.
Which leaves me in a strange place. I've shared quite a lot of information with friends and family, even some co-workers. So most people will know when we should know if we are pregnant or not. I am sure some will be anxious to hear the results, but I am afraid that if it doesn't work I may not want to share the news right away. I don't know. I guess I don't really want to think about that. The good thing is that with the study, we get four chances so I am not feeling too much pressure for this first cycle.
For now, I will probably post again tomorrow to tell you all how the IUI went. And then we will wait and see. Because the trigger shot is actually the hormone your body produces when you are pregnant, which is the same hormone a home pregnancy test detects, I can't test early. The trigger shot will produce a false-positive on a home pregnancy test for about 10-14 days after the shot. The only way to know if we are pregnant is to wait for the blood work in two weeks. So, let the waiting begin.
I was planning giving myself the trigger shot Friday night. When you get to this point in fertility treatments, everything is pretty precise. My bloodwork and ultrasound showed that I was almost ready to ovulate on my own, and the trigger shot needs to be taken at a point when the follicles are large enough to contain mature eggs to release, but before my body ovulates on my own. The nurse told me that I needed to trigger between 9:00 and 10:00 p.m. on Friday night. This is because the trigger shot makes you ovulate approximately 36-40 hours after you take it and the release of the eggs needs to be precisely coordinated with the timing of the IUI. We will go back to the clinic Sunday morning for the IUI, which will be 36 hours from the time I 'triggered' (took the shot).
Well, 9:00 rolled around last night and I was talking to my mom on the phone. I had to let her go so I could prepare and take the shot. This form of the trigger shot is different than the one I previously took. Before I took Ovidrel which comes already prepared in a syringe with a needle. I only had to swab my belly with some alcohol, pinch up a little bit of belly fat, stick myself and plunge the medication into my belly. This time around it's not so easy. This dose is an intramuscular shot and needs to be administered into my butt muscle. Yes, into the muscle. I was pretty sure I could do it myself and the nurse assured me that there are may women who do this. And Scott, I love him dearly, but he said "I can't even watch an episode of Gray's Anatomy without feeling sick, there's no way I can give you the shot."
So, at 9:15 I started to prepare the shot. One vial of water to reconstitute the freeze dried medication, one vial of the medication, one syringe, and three needles. (Just in case I need more than one try.) I mixed the medication, drew it up into the syringe, tapped out the air bubbles, swabbed my hip with alcohol, counted "one, two, three..." and hesitated. I was nervous that it would really hurt, that I wouldn't be able to pull up the syringe to check for blood, what if I had to pull the needle out and do it again? So, I started over, counted again "one, two, three..." pulled back to poke myself, and then hesitated. I did this about a hundred more times. It was now 9:30 and I realized I just couldn't do it myself. I was a total chicken-s#*t! Time to call in for reinforcements.
I called my mother-in-law and said "Diane, are you busy? If I drive down to your house can you give me a shot in my butt?" Thankfully I had already talked to her and asked her if she could give me the shot if I wasn't able to do it myself. She said "Of course!" I grabbed the syringe, the two extra needles and the box the meds came in, threw them in a ziplock baggie and headed out to Machi's house. As I'm driving down to her house I realize I don't have a prescription for the medication that is now sitting in a syringe, in a plastic baggie, in the front seat of my car. (Because this is a study, the coordinator just gives me the drugs when I am at my appointment. I don't fill a prescription at a pharmacy) I am in my pajamas and winter coat, tennis shoes untied, in my coke-bottle glasses, looking a little rough and very frazzled. I am contemplating a quick prayer "Please God, don't let me get pulled over!" as I try not to speed down to Machi's so she can give me the shot before 10:00. I was convinced I somewhat resembled a drug addict.
I made it to her house with ten minutes to spare. Munchie (Diane's beautiful but high-strung sheltie) is yipping at me and turning in excited circles at our feet as Diane tells me to lie across her couch with my booty in the air, pants pulled down over my right hip, as she taps the air out of the syringe and then gives me the shot. Munchie realized the situation was serious (LOL) and calmed down She even nuzzled up to me as I was lying on the couch. It was hilarious. I am sure others have endured stranger situations to get to their goal. I had to laugh. The whole thing was hilarious. But we managed to get it all done. I stayed at her house until midnight eating some delicious raspberry-chocolate ice cream talking about the follies of dealing with infertility. It ended up being a very nice evening.
So we wait until tomorrow (Sunday) morning when we go back to the clinic for the actual IUI. Then I go back about 9 days after the IUI for more bloodwork and yet another ultrasound. Two weeks from Sunday, if I haven't started my period, I will go back for a blood draw to check my beta levels to see if I am pregnant. If I am, I will shout it from the mountain tops, post it on Facebook, Twitter, and maybe even my email signature at work. Okay, probably not there, and definitely not before we first tell our parents. But we are so excited and hopeful.
Which leaves me in a strange place. I've shared quite a lot of information with friends and family, even some co-workers. So most people will know when we should know if we are pregnant or not. I am sure some will be anxious to hear the results, but I am afraid that if it doesn't work I may not want to share the news right away. I don't know. I guess I don't really want to think about that. The good thing is that with the study, we get four chances so I am not feeling too much pressure for this first cycle.
For now, I will probably post again tomorrow to tell you all how the IUI went. And then we will wait and see. Because the trigger shot is actually the hormone your body produces when you are pregnant, which is the same hormone a home pregnancy test detects, I can't test early. The trigger shot will produce a false-positive on a home pregnancy test for about 10-14 days after the shot. The only way to know if we are pregnant is to wait for the blood work in two weeks. So, let the waiting begin.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Accepted!!!
Just a quick update. This past week has been very busy, and a little stressful. We've been chugging along with the testing at the clinic so that we can participate in their study. Yesterday I had my cycle day 3 bloodwork done and my FSH and E2 levels were tested. FSH was 10.8 and E2 as 42. Both levels meet the study requirements and we officially start cycling today! This means that I start taking the stimulating meds to get ready for the IUI (insemination). I went back to the clinic this morning for yet another full blood work-up and an ultrasound. This is the second ultrasound at the clinic and I had 14 antral follicles again!!! This is fabulous news.
I was also assigned my medications today. Scott and I were both hoping for the Menopur, which is an injectable drug. But we didn't get the Menopur. Instead we received either Clomid or Femara. We don't know which one because it is a blind study. Also, the pills are over-coated and don't look anything like the pills I took before so I have absolutely no idea what we got.
We are very excited and hopeful that the treatments will finally get us pregnant! I'll try to keep everyone posted.
I was also assigned my medications today. Scott and I were both hoping for the Menopur, which is an injectable drug. But we didn't get the Menopur. Instead we received either Clomid or Femara. We don't know which one because it is a blind study. Also, the pills are over-coated and don't look anything like the pills I took before so I have absolutely no idea what we got.
We are very excited and hopeful that the treatments will finally get us pregnant! I'll try to keep everyone posted.
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